I hope this isn't out of line...

[Gumbeaux]

I am sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort in the days ahead. I recently lost my Dad to a sudden and unexpected illness. He was only 65. He is the person who taught me everything I know about boating, fishing and most importantly investing time with family. The last significant time we spent together was the long weekend trip we took to pick up my Yamaha boat. He was so excited for me.

The grieving process can be tough. I have found some constructive ways to remember and honor my Father, and I recommend you do the same. Take care of yourself and keep an open mind to what grief should feel like. Read a book or two about grief and loss if it helps. I know it certainly helped me.

 

[txav8r]

I am so sorry to read about your loss @Jim Robeson. I don't know if I have shared with you, that my wife is a Hospice RN, case manager. She has helped many folks at the end of their life. I could read in your words, that you hoped the decisions you made were the right ones. It is hard to lose our friends and family, I lost my dad at 19, my step dad of 30 years about 3 years ago, and my mom also had Alzheimer's and has been having those issues coming and going. I am sure your decisions were perfect and no matter what we do, it is inevitable, that we will move from this life to another plane regardless. We have you guys in our prayers, along with the rest if your jetboaters family.

 

[Zarrella]

Jim,
I too am sorry for your loss. Time does not heal your pain.....but it does get easier with time.

 

[leeatmg]

Jim - so sorry to hear about your loss. I think it's great that you felt comfortable posting this here - that's what makes this forum special. Not out of place at all, and if it helps you to do so, feel free. We all need someone to lean on in times of need. Here, there are 600+ of us.

---Lee

 

[96Pirate]

Sorry for your loss @Jim Robeson I lost all my grandparents and I was very close to my maternal grandfather, who was the last to pass on. All I can say is that the memories we have of our loved ones do help...a lot. They will never replace them but they do ease the pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Mike

 

[Rigger]

@Jim Robeson I'm so very sorry as well. Take comfort in knowing your not alone. As I read everyone's response and shed a tear, nothing heals the pain but time WILL sooth it. My Dad has been gone almost 6 years and when reading of someone else's similar loss it all comes rushing back - but man it sure helps to share with others As I sit on the boat right now typing, I smile about the memories of him and all he taught me. You will have many days like that and each of those days you'll smile a little more. Stay strong my friend!

 

[Britboater]

My condolences to you and your family, look after each other and take care.
Just talking about your mother means she's still with you, if not in body in soul.

 

[BravoMike]

Jim, I have not read through all the posts, but from my point of view there is nothing out of line. My prayers go out to you, your father, and family. From the few members I have met, this is a form of family. A lot of great people to not only share knowledge and good times, but also the no so good things that happen in our of lives.

 

[cbus]

You are with friends! We may not know each other but we have a common bond.

I lost my Dad years ago and this past Fathers Day I had a moment where I stopped and remembered the good times.

Please know that the healing process takes time and though the wounds run deep, they will heal. My Mother is still alive and kicking and I can't imagine what you must be going through as I will miss her deeply when she goes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Please continue to post here and let us know your thoughts. Sometimes just being able to discuss things in a place where you're able to vent and not be judged is enough to help.

We are with you!

 

[Chillypilot]

I almost lost my dad this year. I can't bare the thought of losing him. I can't imagine what you're going through. My thoughts are with you.

Peter

 

[itsdgm]

@Jim Robeson so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Raphael]

Keep your head up, Our condolences

 

[biglar155]

I'm very sorry for your loss Jim. We'll keep your family in our prayers.


(And by all means, this IS the right place for this sort of thing.)

 

[Jim Robeson]

I would like to THANK ALL OF YOU for all you kind words of support. The outpouring of support that you all have given me is something that I will never forget. My mom is a very special lady and I do believe she is in a much better place now. We had a wonderful day yesterday just talking about all the wonderful times we had with family and friends. Cried a lot and laugh more...it was a great day for all of us.

From my family to this family, Thank you all again for being here!!

Sincerely, Jim Robeson

 

[DoubleThrust]

Thanks is very very sad news. Best wishes from your friends on the forum.

 

[Zeus2013]

Jim, my father passed away two years ago from lung cancer. My family watched him slowly die in five months and we were at his bed side when he died. I had to make the call to put him on morphine so he would not suffer. I tell you this so you can understand I know your pain. I can promise you this, with time the pain will slowly pass for all. Keep the family close together, remember the good times and support each other.

Sincerest condolences,
Nick

 

[OperationROL]

Jim, please accept our deepest, heartfelt condolences. We pray that your family be comforted by an unexplained peace during these times.

 

[Topper232]

Hi Jim,

I can relate as I lost my father to cancer when I was 8 and then my mom to breast cancer 14 years ago when I was 33. Way too early for both. My mom moved in with me just after being diagnosed as she was only given 6-8 months to live. We had an in-law suite, so it made it nice top have her close, yet she still had her privacy and friends and family could visit her without intruding on my wide and kids since there was a separate entrance.

I remember sitting by her side watching her draw her last breath. It was indeed hard, but I had lived with her accelerating "dying" for 8 months, so I was ready. My mom was also very special to me and I still miss her to this day. Still have her number in my phone. Can't bring myself to delete it. I'm not saying that I haven't grieved and moved on, but that might be the last piece.

As far as your father goes, your mom was his partner in life, and as couples get older, losing one can seem downright tragic and unfair. Not sure where you and your father are as far as religion goes, and I don't want to come across as "preachy", but hopefully you and your dad can take comfort in knowing that She's been called home, the big home, where there is no pain or suffering and he will be with her again, but in a much more powerful way.

One of the best things that I think that you can do for your dad, is to just be there. And by that, I mean actually be there. Not breathing down his neck there, but keep going over to see him if you can, or having him come to you house, or asking for "his" help with little projects. Not just to keep him busy, but to let him know that he's not alone. These opportunities that you have to spend together will also give your dad plenty of chances to open up to talk to you.....when he's ready. Sometimes the best thing to say can be nothing. Just being with someone in a time of need can have a deeper meaning.

My prayers are also with you guys. But why not ask him if you could pray out loud with him. Don't underestimate the power of prayer!

 

[biglar155]

...One of the best things that I think that you can do for your dad, is to just be there. And by that, I mean actually be there. Not breathing down his neck there, but keep going over to see him if you can, or having him come to you house, or asking for "his" help with little projects. Not just to keep him busy, but to let him know that he's not alone. These opportunities that you have to spend together will also give your dad plenty of chances to open up to talk to you.....when he's ready. Sometimes the best thing to say can be nothing. Just being with someone in a time of need can have a deeper meaning.

THIS is very important. It's been 3 years since we lost my Dad rather suddenly. (We were blessed that it happened when we were visiting. Otherwise Mom would have had to face that alone.) I have talked to my Mom on the phone for 30 minutes almost every night since then. As an only child living 300 miles away, it's really the only thing I could really do to offer her support. (She has no interest in moving to WI. She has a network of friends and a beautiful home that she won't leave until it is clearly time to do so.)

I'll admit, it's a PITA to find the time some nights but its just something I feel I have to do. I believe it has helped us both to heal. Mom is doing well but there are still days (like yesterday which would have been their 57th Wedding Anniversary) that are tough. We muddle through them together.

 

[SCSTWG]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. My wife lost her Father 6 months ago and has also had a very difficult time. The one thing I tell her for comfort is that the fact that it hurts this bad means that you had a great Father and were fortunate to have him in your life for many years. It sounds like you had the same with your Mother.