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My First Days in Jolly Ole England

Bruce

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Year
2007
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@Geoff Cooper, this is for you.

It was late spring of 1997 when I was 19. I was flying to England for what was supposed to be a few days of providing technical support for some software that I had written to a British company that was selling it in Europe. Quickly it turned into a six year stay. I flew from Fayetteville, AR where @Rana and I were attending the University of Arkansas. I had a web hosting business in Fayetteville that was covering our tuition and rent.

I should caveat this with the fact that this is a story of different perspectives. Nothing in this story is meant to imply that anything is wrong with the Brits but to express the perspective of a young Arkie when first experiencing a different way of life.

When I arrived at Gatwick Airport I found it to be very cold and damp. I quickly found that the Brits were very busy and much less friendly than the folks at home. I also found it very strange that police were walking around the airport with MP5 (submachine guns) in three point slings. I had instructions to board a train to Bedford the capital of Bedfordshire where I would meet the CTO of the company I had come to assist. Soon after the train left the airport I began seeing row after row of multistory brick buildings with clothes hanging outside the windows to dry and black smoke coming from the chimneys. Back home almost everyone had a clothes dryer and those that did not went to the laundromat to wash and dry their clothes inside. I was accustomed to wood heat but the smoke was white or grey with a more pleasant aroma. Even our charcoal burned much cleaner that whatever they were heating with. I felt bad for these people who must be in distress. Most likely these memories are from Croydon. Which I later learned was not typical of London. Judging London by Croydon would like judging the US by East Saint Louis or Inglewood.

The train I was on stopped at almost every small town along the way. It was not heated and was quite cold. I believe the trip was around 3.5 hours to Bedford. When I arrived there Chris, the CTO, picked me up in the smallest car that I had ever been in, I believe it was an Austin Metro. It was so small that my suitcase barely fit in the boot (trunk). He was very proud of his small car and had been telling me about it the whole way from the train. He said that he was one of a very small number of private car owners at the company. Almost everyone drove a company car. On the drive to his home he told me many tales about Stewartby where he lived. The village had been built for the workers of the London Brick Company. Everything in the village was built from brick.

When we arrived at his home, his wife had prepared a wonderful meal of organ meat and a side, or perhaps it was bangers and mash. I have forgotten which came first. He proudly showed me the fireplace where they burned coal to heat the house. But coal was so expensive that they only burned it when it was really cold. He also was proud of the bed that he had bought from Argos and assembled in his guest bedroom for me earlier that day. I had no idea how he would have gotten that bed into or on top of his car. Later I learned about the packing and assembly methods that the Swedes and IKEA had invented. That night I slept in my clothes and my coat. I did the same every night that I slept in his house. In hind sight, his home was detached (had four walls) which meant he was doing better than most Brits whose houses only had two or sometimes three walls (semi detached). In fact that may have been the only time I slept in a fully detached house in the UK.

The next day we went to his office in St. Ives, Cambs. It was a pretty location along the Great Ouse River. His office had a view of the river. The lower floor of the office was empty because the river had a tendency to flood that level of the building. He told about how many hundreds of years old the building was. There were noticeable gaps in the wooden construction of the buildings interior and the floors were many degrees out of level. The interior of the building was similar to what I would have expected to find inside of The Mayflower. On the postivie side, it was heated. The two most important things to note about St. Ives are that "St Ives always needed large numbers of pubs, 64 in 1838 (1 for every 55 inhabitants), 60 in 1861, 48 in 1865 and 45 in 1899" and the one lane bridge across the Ouse had a small building at its midpoint which had been used as a brothel.

Later that day we went to the main office which was in an industrial park in Huntingdon, Cambs. At the main office I met Alan, the CFO, who invited me to his office for tea and biscuits. Turns out that meant hot tea with UHT (milk that is so pasteurized that it does not spoil) and cookies. Alan proceeded to tell me about his three marriages. He dated his second wife while married to the first and this third while married to the second. He currently had three women on the go and a new car that he needed to "christen" with one of them but he was debating which. He very proudly told me about his 400 year old house.

Then I met the CEO. He drove a Jaguar sports car, his girlfriend drove a BMW M3 and he shared a Ferrari 355 with a friend. His house was semi detached, in a new neighborhood in St. Ives with a pub within walking distance and radiators on the wall for heat. Radiators are metal structures on the wall that hot water is pumped through to heat the room. They were a vast improvement over the coal heat in Stewartby but I later learned that it is really important not to let them make steam. If they do, the boiler explodes. After perhaps four nights in Stewartby I moved into the CEO's house. We had a fun Friday night at the pub. The next morning his girlfriend made High Tea for us. This consists of tea, small sandwiches and biscuits / sweets. This was the first meal that I enjoyed in England. I am eternally grateful to her for feeding me. Later I learned that she also cooked a wonderful roast chicken with roast potatoes.

I am going to skip ahead a week or so to the day of my first experience with the British Police. So far I had been chauffeured every where I went. But on this day I needed to go Watford where the companies tech support center was located. This was roughly a 60 mile drive. I had worked and driven in Australia and New Zealand so driving on the left and round a bouts were not new to me. I was given the keys to one of the company Vauxhall Cavaliers, a mobile phone, and a map. I made the drive to Watford where I met the Lotus Esprit driving CEO of the tech support company and his assistant who spent the day telling me about her sexual exploits while traveling Europe. I was told that their call center workers bred like rabbits. They had a very cool coffee vending machine that you pressed buttons on to make various combinations of single serve coffee or hot chocolate. That was probably my favorite part of their office. I was not a fan of coffee, but I had been cold so much of the time that I really appreciated the hot chocolate! On the drive back to Huntingdon the day turned into night and after turning at a large round about off of the A1 Motorway I felt that I had made a wrong turn. I pulled into a gated driveway with a guard house to look at the map. While I was looking at the map a black Range Rover pulled across the driveway blocking me in. Two men with reflective jackets and MP5s jumped out of the Range Rover behind my car and another came toward me from the gatehouse. I put my hands on the steering wheel and explained that I was a lost American looking for the office park. They gave me directions and let me go. I told the story at the office the next day and everyone laughed as they told me that I had pulled into Sir John Major's driveway! He had just retired from being the Prime Minister and would later arrange for my work permit.

About a week later I flew home to get @Rana. Over the next six years we lived in six different homes (St. Ives x 2, Cambridge, New Market, Hitchin and finally London), traveled to all of the tourist sites of England, Scotland and Whales and then began exploring the continent.

Being young I believe our accents were moldable and after a time the Brits began to accuse us of being Canadian. They felt out accents were not strong enough to be American. Even now after speaking to friends over the pond we retain a slightly British accent for a while.

Some day I will write about having Anchovy Toast with Lord Cope at the House of Lords or perhaps about sitting down with George Michael to discuss a business investment, or perhaps about that Israeli Colonel who had the heaviest grenade I have ever felt with no drill marks on it sitting on his desk in London.
 
I too was a native Arkie my whole life until I was sent to live in England, I am thankful that I was assigned to RAF Fairford down in the Cotswolds area. It was beautiful and what I called stereotypical English villages, I grew up in the middle of nowhere and didn't like being in cities or crowded places so Fairford was perfect for me! I loved living there for almost 4 years!
 
If I had driven past John Majors house I would soon have arrived at RAF Alconbury. When we lived in Cambridge we enjoyed the air shows at Mildenhall and seeing the fighters from Lakenheath.

Did you visit Duxford? They have great exhibits and some amazing warbirds air shows.
 
I didn't visit Duxford, wish I would have. I went to Alconbury a couple times to participate in events, I was on the base Honor Guard team. I later realized how much I didn't see while living there. I got there in 1998, my wife at the time didn't move there with me, I explored a lot around the countryside, rode mountain bikes from village to village using the footpaths that have been in use for 100's of years. A lot of what I did while there was centered around drinking, so I spent a lot of time in the pubs and got to be close with the local Rugby team. I had a great time while there but now realize how much I missed.
 
@Wayloncle, it sounds like you had some great experiences over there and many that I did not.

Did the Bobbies ever sit you down for a chat about anger?

Or did you ever happen to have a gentleman who you were pretty sure was not interested in women place his hand around your neck?
 
Well, I did have to stand in a line up and got interigated one time not long after arriving. I did have a guy try to kiss me one night as well! I've never been in a fist fight in my life, but at that moment a couple guys had to hold me back for a minute.!
 
Well Bruce i can see that you've seen some of England but to start off with you landed at the wrong Airport and stayed in places that weren't supplied with Gas, I haven't seen Coal burned in England for many years, I lived in a remote village in Staffordshire called Colton ( Google it and have a look ) and even there we had a Gas supply it consisted of around 120 houses and 2 pubs everyone very friendly and a great community spirit the crime rate didn't exist i think the last reported crime was a broken street lamp glass in 1953 and the culprits father took care of that with his belt, In the winter when it snowed it was impossible to get to by road and consequently the local children were unable to go to school so it was a case of getting the rope and sledges out and towing them around the 30 acre field in my Range Rover with maybe 15 sledges in hot pursuit, Everyone helped each other a great place for my kids to grow up, We from the Midlands and up North tend to look at anyone South of Birmingham as to flash if you understand my meaning, There a different breed and you don't get the friendliness and warmth as you do from people further North, Many people from the Northern part of England have never been to London in there lives and would not want to go there, I was probably as shocked as you were when i arrived in LA if you Google Colton you will understand why, I had never seen Aeroplanes being sold the same as cars in a lot and everything was so cheap there we were getting 2 dollars to the £ so our money went a long way, Once i got out of LA and started to travel on the Pacific coast road i was felt great and i loved the journey we did and going through the Desert and the small deserted towns on Route 66, Your not alone when you say you felt very cold in England as i don't go back very much these days as my inner core is at Thai temperature and even in the summer in England when i go i am always cold and when everyone is in short sleeved shirts I'm in coats in the house with the heating on, Summer in England 23 degrees My Aircon in Thailand 28 degrees so you see what i mean, My nearest RAF base was Cosford they had a very good Airshow every year which i used to attend with the children that was about 15 miles from where i lived, It's a shame you didn't stay further up north you would have seen the difference in hospitality and the real England, The way you have described the lifestyle and outlook of the people you were acquainted with is typical of the Southern attitude and I'm pleased to say that not everyone has the same outlook in England, Like when i got to Barstow and mixed with the local people it was the same as being in my village and i remember talking to one guy who told me if he owned LA he'd give it away, That's how many people from the Northern part of England feel about London that's not the true England, Good to here your story,
 
@Geoff Cooper, you absolutely right, the prices go down and the people get friendlier the further north you travel. I frequently advise friends traveling to the UK to knock out London in a day or two then head north.

I used to travel to a Rolls Royce Aerospace facility near Derby frequently. Could not talk about it at the time, but I believe the British papers broke the news about that facility and Japan.

One of my favorite coworkers was a Geordie. I believe you were too far south to qualify as a Geordie?

We had an exchange student friend in Aberdeen and another friend with a house near St. Andrews so we spent a lot of weekends in Scotland. I believe Inverness was as far north as we traveled. Even partied with the Scots for Hogmanay a couple of times.

Rana wanted to go to Lands End for her birthday one year. We left home at 4 AM and took the motorway to Bristol. Then we took the small roads all the way around the peninsula to Plymouth Torquay and Exmouth where we started the run back to London going through a National Park full of heavy fog and sheep. We made it back to London at 3:30 the next morning.

I was often in Manchester for work but tried to avoid Leeds.

Everywhere that we chose to live had gas heating. Did you ever experience a coin operated gas meter? We rented a house in New Market where the previous tenant had destroyed the place while waiting for a counsel home to become available. The owner painted the walls, replaced all the floors and even sodded the garden. But the gas meter under the kitchen sink was coin operated! I quickly called and had it replaced. It was explained to me that the gas company could not legally cut her off so they installed the coin operated meter. Friends of ours in London who shared a flat had a gas meter that used prepaid cards.
 
HEY! ARE YOU GUYS TRYING FOR SOME SORT OF LITERARY AWARDS? GET BACK TO WORK! lol
 
@Geoff Cooper
Funny you say a lot of Northerners never went to London.
I met quite a few Fairford people that had never went that far as well, which to me was crazy because I grew up driving 15-20 miles to get to a town with a grocery store, so driving was no problem and normal for me. Even when I would mention going to Swindon (maybe 12-15 miles away) just to go to a club or restaurant they thought I was crazy, that was a weekend trip for them and they'd stop to take a break if they did drive that far.

I always considered the Brits down in that area friendly, came across a few that weren't but that was far and few between. A couple buddies and I frequented The Railway pub, at least every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights we were there, of course we got to be close with the pub owner and bartenders. There was this one older gentleman that was there often that once he got enough pints in him he would start mouthing off to any Americans. He always started off saying "we don't need you here to protect us" I tried several times to explain that isn't the reason we are there but he was set on insisting he didn't need us:-)

I truly miss the Kabob stands you'd find on the side of the road and the Pub atmosphere at bars. I don't think I've have ever been to a bar in the states that have that kind of atmosphere. I'm sure there are some small towns that have it, I just haven't found a place that have the regulars like pubs have consistently. It's cool how you find a place that fits you and you stick with it. There were 5 or 6 pubs just in little Fairford but each one had its own attitude.

I could go on for a long time about my time spent there, I really enjoyed it, the small village style fits me very well.
When I would return to the states on leave and go to Wal-Mart or something I felt very anxious or something, I just wasn't used to being around that many people.
 
I agree about the pubs. They are great places that just do not exist on this side of the pond. I believe that the difference in attitude toward alcohol made the difference. It seemed like every big contract would require several pints before or after signing.
 
In the pubs there would be people from 14 to 100 years old, all there for the same reason, have a few drinks (or more) and enjoy each other's company. The few that would wander in and try to throw off the atmosphere by raising hell, or try to hit on the women or whatever were quickly redirected on down the road.

I can't remember if this was the rule everywhere or not, but it was illegal for them to be open after 11pm in the village. Lots of times the owner would tell us to hang back after they got everyone else out at closing and closed everything up, shut off most the lights and then just a few of his closest patrons would be allowed to hang out with them after hours and we would help our selves to the bar and everything, as long as you stayed quiet.
 
Nice to see you have a fond memory of the UK @Bruce , I frequent the U.S, mainly Florida in winter, and there really is not much difference between us. There are a lot of connections but the language is the biggest. Since owning a property now in Florida we have made some real buddies, people we can honestly say are true friends, but their from all over, Nebraska, Connecticut, Michigan are just a few.

In this ever decreasing world it's nice to have "foreign" friends, on the whole your an all right bunch of chaps, and you've done rather well for yourselves since we let you go it alone :winkingthumbsup"[flag]
 
@Geoff Cooper, you absolutely right, the prices go down and the people get friendlier the further north you travel. I frequently advise friends traveling to the UK to knock out London in a day or two then head north.

I used to travel to a Rolls Royce Aerospace facility near Derby frequently. Could not talk about it at the time, but I believe the British papers broke the news about that facility and Japan.

One of my favorite coworkers was a Geordie. I believe you were too far south to qualify as a Geordie?

We had an exchange student friend in Aberdeen and another friend with a house near St. Andrews so we spent a lot of weekends in Scotland. I believe Inverness was as far north as we traveled. Even partied with the Scots for Hogmanay a couple of times.

Rana wanted to go to Lands End for her birthday one year. We left home at 4 AM and took the motorway to Bristol. Then we took the small roads all the way around the peninsula to Plymouth Torquay and Exmouth where we started the run back to London going through a National Park full of heavy fog and sheep. We made it back to London at 3:30 the next morning.

I was often in Manchester for work but tried to avoid Leeds.

Everywhere that we chose to live had gas heating. Did you ever experience a coin operated gas meter? We rented a house in New Market where the previous tenant had destroyed the place while waiting for a counsel home to become available. The owner painted the walls, replaced all the floors and even sodded the garden. But the gas meter under the kitchen sink was coin operated! I quickly called and had it replaced. It was explained to me that the gas company could not legally cut her off so they installed the coin operated meter. Friends of ours in London who shared a flat had a gas meter that used prepaid cards.

Before i was married i had coin operated Gas meter under the kitchen sink in a flat i rented, When you worked at Derby my village was not to far from there, People don't travel in England like they do in America and many people who live in small villages many of them really never leave there village, Some of the older people have never been away from there village they just have very strong local ties and all there family live in the village also, There are some lovely small villages and towns around Plymouth etc where you went and many village pubs but now they are all closing down now at a rate of about 30 a week because of the cost of living it has gone through the roof and people can't afford to go and have a pint like they used to do, Many have turned into restaurants but again the prices they charge put people off and you have lost the local pub atmosphere, The 2 pubs were the center of Pub life in my village and you either went to one or the other you rarely frequented both as it just wasn't done, I know old people who have lived in my village for more than 60 years and have always used the same pub and never entered the other one and have never left the village, They were born there and worked on the local Farms and used the village shop and Postoffice and the chosen Pub that there Father and Grandfather used and never strayed over the Village boundary, The nearest town to me was about 4 miles away and in most cases that's as far as some of the older people had ever been, many have never used a credit card or never seen an ATM machine, They still grow there own vegetables and rely on there daughters or sons or grand children to get anything else for them that they cant get locally, Regarding the Geordies they are great people and i have many Geordie friends and life up there is very hard, I always make jokes about them when we meet i would say the Pigeons in Geordieland fly upside down because there's nothing worth shitting on, Many of the big industries there have closed ie the ship yards and there were many of them have all closed and there is much unemployment there, Thing's are not good in England at the moment and i must say apart from my children and Grandchildren i don't miss it at all, Thailand is like England 50 years ago and i live in a small fishing village next to a beautiful beach and the people here are just the same as my old village just a different language which i have to learn because nobody speaks English, I can travel 15 miles to my nearest town but the prices double, My local community here are great and everyone has accepted me as i eat there food and speak there language and that's always a good start.
 
In the pubs there would be people from 14 to 100 years old, all there for the same reason, have a few drinks (or more) and enjoy each other's company. The few that would wander in and try to throw off the atmosphere by raising hell, or try to hit on the women or whatever were quickly redirected on down the road.

I can't remember if this was the rule everywhere or not, but it was illegal for them to be open after 11pm in the village. Lots of times the owner would tell us to hang back after they got everyone else out at closing and closed everything up, shut off most the lights and then just a few of his closest patrons would be allowed to hang out with them after hours and we would help our selves to the bar and everything, as long as you stayed quiet.

Yes that's true they had to close at 11 pm that was the law but many village pubs would have a stop over after the non locals were kicked out and life would carry on as normal, The police knew it was going on but turned a blind eye as there was no trouble and they couldn't be bothered with attending the villages as it's better to make friends than enemies and there was no noise anyway.
 
@Geoff Cooper
Funny you say a lot of Northerners never went to London.
I met quite a few Fairford people that had never went that far as well, which to me was crazy because I grew up driving 15-20 miles to get to a town with a grocery store, so driving was no problem and normal for me. Even when I would mention going to Swindon (maybe 12-15 miles away) just to go to a club or restaurant they thought I was crazy, that was a weekend trip for them and they'd stop to take a break if they did drive that far.

I always considered the Brits down in that area friendly, came across a few that weren't but that was far and few between. A couple buddies and I frequented The Railway pub, at least every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights we were there, of course we got to be close with the pub owner and bartenders. There was this one older gentleman that was there often that once he got enough pints in him he would start mouthing off to any Americans. He always started off saying "we don't need you here to protect us" I tried several times to explain that isn't the reason we are there but he was set on insisting he didn't need us:)

I truly miss the Kabob stands you'd find on the side of the road and the Pub atmosphere at bars. I don't think I've have ever been to a bar in the states that have that kind of atmosphere. I'm sure there are some small towns that have it, I just haven't found a place that have the regulars like pubs have consistently. It's cool how you find a place that fits you and you stick with it. There were 5 or 6 pubs just in little Fairford but each one had its own attitude.

I could go on for a long time about my time spent there, I really enjoyed it, the small village style fits me very well.
When I would return to the states on leave and go to Wal-Mart or something I felt very anxious or something, I just wasn't used to being around that many people.
It sounds like you really got into the pub scene while you were stationed in England and enjoyed your stay there, You will always find some cynical old moaning bastard there's usually one in every village pub or club Usually an old 2nd world war vet ( No disrespect to 2nd world war vets ) that always has something to say or comes out with unsavory comments, There opener to any conversation usually starts with the words "During the war" In the late 60s early 70s when i was a bit of a rebel i can remember getting a 3 month ban from our local British Legion club, I would go there because the Beer was cheap and they had a well kept snooker table, The downfall side was that you constantly were reminded that they went through the war and that you should thank them for you being alive, After 6 months of this it started getting to me and on a Thursday lunch time they would meet to have a game of cribbage, I happened to be on Holiday from work this one particular Thursday and when i walked past the window i could see that these games were in full flight, I gently opened the door slightly and rolled a dummy Handgranade across the floor and shouted in a loud voice GRANADE, Well you can imagine what happened there Military training kicked in and there natural reaction was to dive for cover, Cribbage tables went flying and there was beer and cards everywhere, They knew who it was as one of the members who was late for the game was on his way towards the club when he seen me beating a hasty retreat, I was hauled in front of the committee and received a 3 month ban and after i was allowed back in i was constantly reminded of my errors so don't think it only happened to you all the younger generation went through the same but they were good old boys and although they are long passed away now i still have happy memories about them and it brings a smile to my face, I'm pleased you enjoyed your stay.
 
I too was a native Arkie my whole life until I was sent to live in England, I am thankful that I was assigned to RAF Fairford down in the Cotswolds area. It was beautiful and what I called stereotypical English villages, I grew up in the middle of nowhere and didn't like being in cities or crowded places so Fairford was perfect for me! I loved living there for almost 4 years!
Which ales and beers did you enjoy as we have many local brewers in England that produce many fine ales.
 
Well, Arkles was just down the road so I enjoyed that, we used to do a tour every year and he would give us cases and cases of beer!
Not English but I drank a whole lot of Guinness and Carlsburg 1664....I wasn't stuck on one, so I drank a bunch of it all!
For a good while it was Guinness only, then I started drinking others.
I drank liquer as well, so when I weened myself off Guinness, I also drank a lot of Jim Beam and 7-Up.

I can't remember the name of a lot of what I drank....
 
Well, Arkles was just down the road so I enjoyed that, we used to do a tour every year and he would give us cases and cases of beer!
Not English but I drank a whole lot of Guinness and Carlsburg 1664....I wasn't stuck on one, so I drank a bunch of it all!
For a good while it was Guinness only, then I started drinking others.
I drank liquer as well, so when I weened myself off Guinness, I also drank a lot of Jim Beam and 7-Up.

I can't remember the name of a lot of what I drank....
Wow Guinness is a heavy drink and although i have drunk it years ago not in large quantities, I was never a big drinker and stopped drinking years and years ago, The Irish always say Guinness never travels over water so they never drink it only in there homeland and when i have traveled to Ireland i must admit it does taste better than that that is brewed in England but I'm certainly no expert on beers but you seem to go for the stronger versions that Carlsburg 1664 is loopy juice.
 
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