Question for the Ladies

[biffdotorg]

Thanks for the response Ronnie. Her and I are on the same page then. Since she asked about the batteries, and it was hard to describe without a picture, I gave her what she asked for (with some additional info minus a full blown checklist)

As far as docking and loading on the trailer, it came down to an ultimatum early in our relationship. Boat landings are busy places where you never want to be "that guy" After watching my buddie's wives sit on the sidelines or in the bow of the boat while the guys ran and did everything at the landing while holding up traffic, I swore that would never be us.

It was set in stone that each of us needs to either back the truck and trailer, or drive the boat on the trailer. We are both capable people and if we are not comfortable with it, we will practice until we are good at it and come across as a well oiled machine. There is nothing physical or mental about either job that anyone with practice cannot do. Anyone who refuses to learn is just being bullheaded, and anyone that refuses to allow someone the chance to try and make their own mistakes has no right to complain about family not pitching in.

Let's just say I and my wife were elated when the daughter got to the age that she was driving the boat on the trailer. She's a rockstar. Last year, she backed the truck/trailer as well. As mentioned, just because a person has never done something doesn't make it rocket science.

For all of you debating on letting someone back a trailer, these big 24ft boats are cake. It can't get much easier other than a semi truck. My daughter backed our 10ft utility trailer into the driveway. That is a whole new level of frustration, but she got it anyway.

 

[Ronnie]

@biffdotorg , we are in agreement on all points.

Although my wife won’t load or unload the boat or back the trailer in, she is otherwise very capable and has no problem taking the boat out without me (as long as it’s already on the water. She is also a typical super mom, pro at work and home. When her water heater rusted out before we were married I recommmed she hire someone to install a new one. Instead she had one delivered and installed it herself. She also had the old one hauled away. Where boating is concerned I share responsibility for her/us on that. I will just say I could have and should have been a much better, more patient instructor to her.

As for lettting others drive the boat, skis or autos . I’m very open to it as long as I feel confident about their competence. We put on two weekdend camping trips per summer, one for my family and friends and one for her’s. We bring the skis and boat and let any of them use the skis (I trained a lot of them in the 10+ years we’ve been doing this) and I often ask others if they want to drive the boat while I’m in it, most people decline but all of my regular crew can do it without me. So that wa a very long winded way of saying, “I get it.”

My Son is AWESOME !!! as a first mate, both my wife and I our happy/proud about this. Only 15 but handles loading our wave runners and boat with ease which is great since my wife will only trailer load when she absolutely has to. We got him in the water early. In the beginning he was less than 4’ tall and weighed just 80 lbs. people would stop, watch (sometimes video) and cheer as he loaded up two waverunners, big ones (11’ and 850ish lbs “couches”) not little singles that I started on at 19.

I also agree with you on backing a trailer. I thinks it’s ironic that I can back the big boat trailer up so easily but backing the much smaller waverunner trailer up can be much more challenging. My sons training on this will start soon, I’m going to start saying the prayer of serenity more.

 

[Wisefam22]

@biffdotorg my wife thinks backing out 14ft utility trailer is easier then our sx230. Our house is in culdesac and probably harder to turn the trailer into drive without hitting mailbox on blind side then any boat ramp...

She got frustrated Wednesday when pulling youth from our church on tube. She is used to her dad old adage of "go fast" it's what makes the tube flip... she got frustrated when I told her to throttle back some.

She wants to take boat out but is hesitant to back trailer in ramp/load boat.

Her favorite aunt and uncle with her cousins are coming into town for weekend. Gonna have her drive the boat more so I can relax.

 

[biffdotorg]

Ronnie, that is how it is. Longer wheelbase is easer as they react to tuning slower. Utility and sled trailers are so short it takes nothing to make them turn and thus jack knife

 

[Ronnie]

@biffdotorg , that makes sense in retrospect. I wish I would have remembered that a few weeks ago when I took the skis out for the first time and almost immedialty jack knifed the trailer the point where the trailer jack handle put a small hole in my/my son’s truck.

Coincidentally, while boating yesterday after finding the water colder than expected we broke out the embroidered towels to dry off and warm up. Stylish, functional and truly one of a kind/custom.

 

[biffdotorg]

Well, the weather was a bust Thursday night, and Friday morning. So once I got to the lake Friday afternoon, we loaded up and got out on the water anyway. I honestly think she avoided taking it out. But the intention was good.

Yesterday though, I asked my buddies wife to meet her daughter and I at the landing to pull the Waverunners out. She jumped in my truck with the double trailer and headed out. Once I got to the landing, I played the "I don't want to get my seats wet" card and talked her through backing the waverunner trailer down the landing.

It was quiet and nobody waiting, so it was the perfect time for her to do it. And her husband was not around, so her nerves were as low as they could get. Like a rockstar and some encouragement, she got the trailer in the water with little issue. Many wives hate to take direction from spouses. My wife could have never sat there and listened to my direction. But she may have from someone else.

I think she felt a sense of accomplishment as she dug up her hidden farm girl experience. Her husband wouldn't think of allowing her to try. I think everyone needs the chance, as you only learn by doing.

 

[Ted & Aja]

As a lady I have been piloting boats since I was 14 now 30 and have done the safety courses. I started dating my other half weeks after he bought the 2016 242x and at first I was intimidated to drive. He wanted to wake board and his mother had already failed by sucking up the rope day 2 of opening the boat. So of course I stepped in. I asked him to go over a few things with me and watched him pull another Rider first. He spent around two hours playing and was so excited when he got back on.

As for trailering and load/unload I will drive it anywhere and gladly unhook then drive away in the truck. I am not a fan of putting the boat back on the trailer so I guide it and get the truck. We have a boat ramp in our yard and there is no way I will back the boat down way to tight of a squeeze. I guide and connect strap.

Glad you didn't send the whole diagram cause most that is known just from being on the boat. Just answer her questions as she asks! Glad to hear about Rockstar daughters in this post as well, we just had a baby girl and she is already a boating baby!

 

[2kwik4u]

I've wanted to respond here for awhile, but haven't had the time. I'm "making some time" this morning as I think this is an important topic in the enjoyment of a couple having a boat.

My now wife and I bought our first boat for a little less than $9k. It was a small 4cyl I/O and we figured if we loved it we would upgrade in short order, and if we hated it we wouldn't lose our butts on the deal. We were VERY VERY fortunate in that the seller was a house boat broker and had a TON of experience teaching couples how to split responsibility during the launch/retrieve as well as normal usage. Typically he was training on 60-100ft long vessels that moved slowly, but the concepts are all the same. I try as often as I can to pass along the kind and knowledgeable words he gave us.

He had us "choose sides" early on (like during the test drive early on), and explained that each should be an expert at their "side" of the process. Cross training is important, but only when you have already established an expert to do that training. I let her choose, and she picked water. I got land. Both sides have very distinct roles, responsibilities, and skillsets. I know every detail about how to trailer the boat. How the straps work, how the bow winch works, how far to back into the water, etc. She knows all of the things about the water. How fast to approach the trailer, how hard to hit reverse to slow down, how to start then engine, proper blower procedure, etc. We are both experts in our side of the workload, and we are constantly in the mindset of "honing our craft". Don't get me wrong, this is a pretty easy process, but that mindset has really helped us through the years. I don't argue with her expert decisions, and she doesn't argue with mine. We take suggestions as they are meant, not as criticism, as we are the expert and the other is not..........The second part of this "training" was practice. We took (on advice from our broker) an entire Tuesday morning one week shortly after purchase and practiced the entire routine. Not once, not twice, but all day. I parked the truck 10 times probably. She loaded the boat 15-20 times until it was comfortable. She came in fast, slow, sideways, and I think backwards once. I was in too deep, too shallow, and crooked a few times. The practice helped so much. The timing was such that we weren't rushed for anything, and didn't have other around to distract us. Those couple of hours spent initially, have seriously solidified a set of skills over the years that makes launching/retrieving an absolute breeze, and causes zero stress for anyone.

Some other points I like to make to new folks boating......You're on vacation time here. So don't rush. Never is there a reason that you should be so rushed that you make a rash decision. Take your time loading/unloading and anytime there is anything to do on the water. Stress is directly proportional to time constraints in my experience. If everyone involved has the expectation set that a little bit of patience is necessary, and nothing will be rushed, then everyone around tends to calm down and things go smoother.....Another thought that has served us well. "It's just a boat". If I bonk the dock, or she bonks the trailer. If something is broken/busted/bonked/hit/cracked/etc, then we are both of the opinion that we'll fix it later when we can. It isn't going to break the bank, we aren't going to miss work, they aren't going to take our house, and our happiness is not tied to rhe resell value of our boat. It is what it is, and it's not worth getting into a fight over. Barring gross negligence I don't get upset about accidents. They happen, and when you're stuck in a 8ftx24ft space with someone for the remainder of the day, it sure is easier to let it go.

Finally on the main topic of the thread (since I've already typed a novel so far). The wife has full access to the boat whenever/however she wants. I give gentle reminders on a few things, but for the most part if she wants to take off with it, then there it goes. She isn't comfortable trailering, so I usually have to get it to the water, but after that it's all her. She has hosted "girls night" on the river a few times now, and had good success. They will typically motor up to the local restaurant and have some dinner, then go anchor and watch the sunset and talk about whatever is interesting. The only real thing that I have to worry about is when I have to pick them up, and how late that will be. That confidence, and trust comes from years of experience with each other, and the comfort level that comes with knowing how each other will handle tough situations. In the boat, that's real similar to the list someone posted previously. Essentially, get the boat stopped, toss an anchor over, kill the motor, call for help or address the problem if possible. I should also note that this carries for any of my friends/family not just my wife. There has to be a level of comfort with how bad situations are handled before you get to borrow/use anything of mine. If I know that when the fit hits the shan you'll do something close to the right thing, you have free reign to borrow whatever you need/want. If you're going to lose your mind and panic, I'll keep my toys/tools at home.

Sorry for the novel!

 

[Ronnie]

I’m going to see if i can get my wife to take a day off with me mid week for retaining. If she agrees to it she will likely pick the water duties.

Going to another point or a few raised by @2kwik4u above, take your time, patience and it’s just a boat. I got a reminder of all of this when I visited a new to me lake this past weekend. They had a three lane ramp but no staging area so everyone was staging as they waited in line to launch, well everyone one but he people directly in front of and behind us. They seemed fine taking up the ramp while the transferred gear to it. Long story short I was still prepping when it I got to the front of the line. My wife and I started snapping at each other about what still needs to be done. Before I could put the tow vehicle in gear my sage 15 year old said Dad, I think we should pull to the side and take our time to prep correctly, so we did and the rest of the day went smoothly. It took us maybe another 10 minutes to launch the boat but that is not even a rounding error compared to the 2+ hours to get there and the 6 or so we spent on the water. If the launch goes poorly it can really set up a bad mood for the rest of the day so I’m glad my son spoke up when he did.