Need help with my (Boat) addiction

[toddaltpeter]

So an Amazon delivery showed up the other day, No one was expecting anything. It was of course a boat related item that I had ordered a few weeks before and already forgot about. The wife has determined that I have an addiction and need to seek help. If I don't she's threatened to go shopping downtown with the 3 daughters (That will run me the about the same as a full SeaDeck install!) Since this site is my largest group of enablers, I was wondering if I could get some feedback on how all are hiding your addictions from the spouse?

 

[Canuckjetboater]

So an Amazon delivery showed up the other day, No one was expecting anything. It was of course a boat related item that I had ordered a few weeks before and already forgot about. The wife has determined that I have an addiction and need to seek help. If I don't she's threatened to go shopping downtown with the 3 daughters (That will run me the about the same as a full SeaDeck install!) Since this site is my largest group of enablers, I was wondering if I could get some feedback on how all are hiding your addictions from the spouse?

@toddaltpeter ............ first, congratulations on the family planning. If you have three daughters you are not only in for a ton of fun but your old age is bulletproof as you will have four women looking after you. Therefore, own your boat purchases proudly and hand the credit card over! Just do what I do - double the amount of the boat part you are considering and if you can live with that (and I recommend you try your hardest to) then just accept it as the price of having fun. I offer this from someone who is waaaay older than you and has had a ton of fun owning and tricking my boats and shopping for jewellery for the girls. You only live once - (unless you are a Buddhist) - so, get it right the first time!

 

[Dean P]

My wife likes going fast. She also likes to be safe and comfortable. Everything I've done to the boat was for her. Afterall, she is the most precious cargo onboard. That should help.

 

[Canuckjetboater]

My wife likes going fast. She also likes to be safe and comfortable. Everything I've done to the boat was for her. Afterall, she is the most precious cargo onboard. That should help.

@Dean P ...... that reply is so good you ought to patent it or at least start a men's boat reply column....."Dear Dean" I'm a boat addict. I spent........what do I tell the Admiral?

 

[toddaltpeter]

@Dean P - I like it. Go with the I'm doing it for you thing.... For instance, Her Justin Timberlake songs will sound awesome through the the $2500 Wet Sounds setup (as well as will my Van Halen)!!

 

[four_the_kids]

... hmm, ... mine says that I difficult to buy for (birthday, Christmas, father's day, etc.), so everything I order I tell her that she can wrap the empty box and give it to me on one of those occasions, this way no one has to save the receipt to take it back and get what I'd truly like.
IDK?

 

[AZMark]

Anything under $200 is a “routine maintenance item”

Larger items need a bit more explanation on why they are absolutely necessary.

Cobra jet fins: “the boat will literally swerve out of control and into the shore without these”

Wake foil: “If we just want to wake surf that’s fine with me but I’ll have to fill all the compartments on the boat with ballast bags and pumps and it will cost us thousands more if we DON’T get the foil”

Stereo upgrades: tbd, that’s going to be a tough one

And yes she knows I’m completely full of it but she hasn’t cut me off yet.

 

[Dean P]

@Dean P - I like it. Go with the I'm doing it for you thing.... For instance, Her Justin Timberlake songs will sound awesome through the the $2500 Wet Sounds setup (as well as will my Van Halen)!!

That's what I have (WS). Sounds great when played loud (and she's singing away!!!)

 

[dgfreeze]

My wife and I are usually on the same page, or at least close. I'm not real big on a bangin' sound system anymore, I feel like I outgrew that. Don't get me wrong, I used to have the best sound system of all my friends when I was trying to impress all the wrong girls, but now I covet the peace and quiet, and head straight for the quiet, remote spots. All the other bigger purchases, like the traction mats, tower & bimini, upholstery makover, etc, she's been pretty easy to work with. For all the knick-knacks, I ship stuff to work, and it just magically appears on the boat the next time we go out.

Her - "Hey, when did we get this?"
Me - "Oh, we've had that for awhile now"....(avoiding eye contact, because I can feel the sideye glance)

 

[Mully262]

Gotta make her understand why it is important, to her. Hahaha.

 

[Dave burke]

My wife and I are usually on the same page, or at least close. I'm not real big on a bangin' sound system anymore, I feel like I outgrew that. Don't get me wrong, I used to have the best sound system of all my friends when I was trying to impress all the wrong girls, but now I covet the peace and quiet, and head straight for the quiet, remote spots. All the other bigger purchases, like the traction mats, tower & bimini, upholstery makover, etc, she's been pretty easy to work with. For all the knick-knacks, I ship stuff to work, and it just magically appears on the boat the next time we go out.

Her - "Hey, when did we get this?"
Me - "Oh, we've had that for awhile now"....(avoiding eye contact, because I can feel the sideye glance)

hmmm... didn’t know there were knick-knacks for boats

 

[Ronnie]

On a serious note (you have been warned in case your don’t want to read further), My wife and I had to attend marriage classes before we got married as a condition of being confirmed so that we could be married in a church (Roman Catholic). During the weekend long final session we discussed in private and a group setting all kinds of things like kids, taking care of parents and of course finances.

Since we got married, 22 years next month, we both have our pay directly deposited into three accounts, in this order, fixed amounts to ours for necessities (e.g. mortgage, utilities, etc.), ours savings (in addition to 401k, 403b, etc.), what’s left goes to our personal accounts. Summarily ours times two, hers and mine. We can spend money form our personal accounts without consulting each other, we can spend up to $1,000 of joint account money without consulting each other (it started at $200 but has grown over the years), anything over the agreed to amount requires discussion.

This structure has worked well for us as we have been able to avoid being the subject of some of the horror stories we have heard like coming home to a new boat or car on installment payments in the driveway or having to hide purchases from one another. Thankfully we don’t have to dip into the joint account often and very rarely for over $1,000. I think I’ve benefited more from this arrangement because I make more money than my wife so my personal (what’s left over) account tends to be healthier than hers.

As California residents we live in a community property state, so regardless of what we think and agree all the money we earn during marriage is all our money (community property) not the separate property of either of us. As a lawyer I realize this and she as a lawyer’s wife realize this as well. That said, our setup keeps everything above board where finances are concerned.

 

[Dean P]

My wife and I had to attend marriage classes before we got married as a condition of being confirmed so that we could be married in a church (Roman Catholic). During the weekend long final session we discussed in private and a group setting all kinds of things like kids, taking care of parents and of course finances.

Not to change the subject but my wife and I went thru this also. This almost broke us up as the church hinted and almost stated "we would never work; never make it". They were saying this due to we met and 6 months later I proposed. We married 8/18/1990 (it's engraved inside my wedding band) and this year will be 31. Yes, after 2 boys and now 6 dogs, we are still together.

I told her what I posted and she asked "Do they know you're full of sh!t?". Luv her sense of humor. So, I reiterated again, it was all for her. She rolled her eyes ...

 

[dgfreeze]

hmmm... didn’t know there were knick-knacks for boats

Lol, it’s painful how few there are, but I guess I’d be referring to things like dock lines, foam floats, maintenance items, and minor upgrades such as the scupper, stainless cup holders, etc. Maintenance and repair stuff I pretty much just get, because that stuff can’t take no for an answer, but I try to at least inform her of what’s happening if it’s a larger ticket item. The upholstery was actually her idea, she wanted that done before I did.

@Dean P @Ronnie my wife and I also went through premarital counseling, and I’ll be honest, it was great for our relationship. Dean, I’m sorry to hear about your crappy counselor, that’s not the message a marital counselor should be putting out. Flip side, congrats on 31 years!

 

[Canuckjetboater]

You know you are a smooth talker (and just plain damn lucky) when you get to spend serious $$$$$ then have her wax this hull (all 38 feet of it) with its many, many attached toys! BTW as per our battery discussions on this forum this boat ended-up with 6 Series 31 TPPLs.

 

[Dave burke]

One in a million. Why kind of boat is that?

 

[GTBRMC]

hmmm... didn’t know there were knick-knacks for boats

Clearly there are. For example, the outboard motor cozy:

 

[Dave burke]

too funny...

 

[toddaltpeter]

Just for the record, The wife and I are on the same page about the finances. It'll be 27 years in July, so I think we have it figured out. Her only comment about my spending was "I think the boat is going to sink with all of the crap you are buying for it." She was joking about the shopping trip. The post was really more about the fact that this group is my enabler. It's been a long 6 months with the boat in storage and I've acquired quite a few goodies for the season based on the posts here. I pulled it out of storage on Saturday and put on the new Stoltz Roller, Wakeboard rack, Registration Numbers. I'm gonna get her all cleaned up then hit it with a coat a Rejex. Of course I'll wait till after tomorrow's snow storm. Just one more reason I hate Illinois!

 

[Ronnie]

Just for the record, The wife and I are on the same page about the finances. It'll be 27 years in July, so I think we have it figured out. Her only comment about my spending was "I think the boat is going to sink with all of the crap you are buying for it." She was joking about the shopping trip. The post was really more about the fact that this group is my enabler. It's been a long 6 months with the boat in storage and I've acquired quite a few goodies for the season based on the posts here. I pulled it out of storage on Saturday and put on the new Stoltz Roller, Wakeboard rack, Registration Numbers. I'm gonna get her all cleaned up then hit it with a coat a Rejex. Of course I'll wait till after tomorrow's snow storm. Just one more reason I hate Illinois!

In that case, just carry on and go with/accept it (i.e., your addiction). I proudly own my boating addiction, so My friends and relatives already know about it. No one is getting hurt and it’s better than spending the money on something To snort or drink. It doesn’t hurt that my wife is into using her new Waverunner right now.

I’ve been spending my personal account money for us for a few weeks now, over $1,000 for new wet suits, vests, gloves, water shoes, socks, pwc trailer parts, a new cover for my ski, etc. So when I used our joint account to pay for gas on last weekend’s lunch run she didn’t bat an eye. FYI, I bought gas three times that day, in the morning to top off the skis and tow vehicle and again to top off the skis before the ride home. The on water gas was about $120 for 24 gallons I expect another 8 gallons per ski or a 16 gallons total to be need to top off the tanks, so each ski burned 20 gallons to go roughly 100 miles. The skis are better than we, it’s riders, did that day.