Some boating rules.. a bit of a rant here

[I_squared_r]

I'm on my 3rd boating season and I like to go out, tie boats, drink, and eat. I'm a very responsible drinker and give myself plenty of time to sober up (I stay out 8+ hours so this is easy). Usually I invite 2-4 women on my boat and everything is cool. But i'm having problems when guys come on my boat because they drink until they're incapacitated and it is extremely annoying. Yesterday, we had a lot of boats tied and a anchor line let go, and the situation went to shit. I turned off the music and I had to start screaming at the guys to start pushing off other boats and pay attention. It was like deer in ****ing headlights, they were so drunk and incapacitated, 1 fell off the boat, and they weren't helping. Women on the boat next to us, jumped into action, and immediately started doing common sense things. Fortunately I was able to fix the situation and continue the day. But i'm getting really pissed about guys and their alcohol problems.

I'm thinking to start making rules so people have a fair warning before getting permanently banned. Here's the 3 that I thought of:

1. Show up on time.
2. Don't drink until you're incapacitated (drink responsibly)
3. Pay attention when I ask you to do something (music off = stfu and listen)

I'm really thinking of creating a plaque somewhere on the boat with these rules because this is very important. #2 and #3 is a HUGE safety issue that i'm not going to tolerate anymore. Idc how long we have been friends, I will ban them!

 

[Babin Farms]

Show up on time, your on my time once onboard and my boat, my rules are a few of my main things.

I would maybe find a new group to hang with if the drinking and acting like that continues. Not worth the headache and stress.

 

[RightStuff]

That sort of behavior doesn't get you another invite to come out when it happens on my boat. I'm not out on the lake to babysit adults, not worth the precious time that I do have on the water.

 

[HangOutdoors]

I have learned you can't fix these things. I have my rules on the boat. If you come and you don't follow them, then you are not coming again. My first priority is safety. I am coming back in with the same number I took out and safe if I can help it.

If you are a spotter and you don't spot correctly after instructed, like looking at your phone, etc. You get fired and you won't be doing any watersports either. I require everyone to do their part when asked and follow my rules, which are quite simple. One guy was a drunk ass hat, he has been perma banned. Said he didn't care, he will get his own boat. Not a problem.

You get liquored up pretty good and are obnoxious. You get banned as well. You want to smoke in the boat, you can go on shore or stand on the sand bar. Don't Like It, Don't Come.

TBH I enjoy it more when it is just the Admiral and I, the 2 girls and they bring 1 friend each. Everything is peaceful and enjoyable.

I am not spending all this money, and the ton of time it takes to mod the boat, get it ready, put it away, winterize, keep it clean, etc. AS WELL AS assume additional liability for others safety, So others can disrespect it, me and not do their part. Not my type of Gig at all, I learned that awful quick.

 

[jdkaeser]

Yeah, this!

 

[anmut]

I'm on my 3rd boating season and I like to go out, tie boats, drink, and eat. I'm a very responsible drinker and give myself plenty of time to sober up (I stay out 8+ hours so this is easy). Usually I invite 2-4 women on my boat and everything is cool. But i'm having problems when guys come on my boat because they drink until they're incapacitated and it is extremely annoying. Yesterday, we had a lot of boats tied and a anchor line let go, and the situation went to shit. I turned off the music and I had to start screaming at the guys to start pushing off other boats and pay attention. It was like deer in ****ing headlights, they were so drunk and incapacitated, 1 fell off the boat, and they weren't helping. Women on the boat next to us, jumped into action, and immediately started doing common sense things. Fortunately I was able to fix the situation and continue the day. But i'm getting really pissed about guys and their alcohol problems.

I'm thinking to start making rules so people have a fair warning before getting permanently banned. Here's the 3 that I thought of:

1. Show up on time.
2. Don't drink until you're incapacitated (drink responsibly)
3. Pay attention when I ask you to do something (music off = stfu and listen)

I'm really thinking of creating a plaque somewhere on the boat with these rules because this is very important. #2 and #3 is a HUGE safety issue that i'm not going to tolerate anymore. Idc how long we have been friends, I will ban them!

I like to warn newbies that "one beer in the sun and on a boat is like two on dry land. If you puke on my boat you'll be swimming back. Have fun, be responsible, don't forget to drink water."

 

[I_squared_r]

I would maybe find a new group to hang with if the drinking and acting like that continues. Not worth the headache and stress.

The situation is a little complicated because it's a friend for 10+ years and he messages me every week "what time sunday we are going?" I feel this may turn to an intervention because I think this alcohol issue goes further than my boat. The other guy, idc, I will never invite him again.

 

[HangOutdoors]

Been there....... Being a friend means having the discussion, and it sucks, but hopefully something better comes out of it.

 

[Tjw961]

@HangOutdoors Agreed on having the discussion part. Its also about respect at the end of the day to me, along with the liability part - and maybe not in that order. And I certainly don't want to part of the "why" for attending someone's funeral. If that is their intent to behave that way, they can buy their own boat as far as I'm concerned.

Sorry you're having to deal with all that. There's so much to enjoy with just being out there on the water if you do it the responsible way. Good luck!

 

[ripler]

I quit inviting people a while ago, it's a lot less stressful. I hit the river to relax and when there are others I constantly have to watch what they are doing, especially if they have kids.

 

[tabbibus]

if it is a good friend, talk to him. Otherwise, the ban hammer comes down!

 

[adrianp89]

if it is a good friend, talk to him. Otherwise, the ban hammer comes down!

This, good friends will listen. Anyone else will lose my trust immediately. We are all adults, if you haven't learned basic common sense and responsibility by now, I do not need you around my boat (or life). I don't have the time to fix others problems.

 

[anmut]

The situation is a little complicated because it's a friend for 10+ years and he messages me every week "what time sunday we are going?" I feel this may turn to an intervention because I think this alcohol issue goes further than my boat. The other guy, idc, I will never invite him again.

"We're having a dry Sunday this weekend - you're welcome to come if you want."

His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.

 

[Quad]

A week or two ago, someone posted their rules for boating on one of the dreaded Facebook groups. The were a fairly particular set of rules, but I agreed with the sentiment overall.

There was a wide range of responses, mostly negative, to the tune of "you must be a killjoy, I'd never want to boat with you". My feeling at that point was I probably wouldn't want anyone like that on my boat, and it'd turn out poorly.

 

[I_squared_r]

A week or two ago, someone posted their rules for boating on one of the dreaded Facebook groups. The were a fairly particular set of rules, but I agreed with the sentiment overall.

There was a wide range of responses, mostly negative, to the tune of "you must be a killjoy, I'd never want to boat with you". My feeling at that point was I probably wouldn't want anyone like that on my boat, and it'd turn out poorly.

I left facebook last month because of the storm of constant negativity there. It's like people log into fb to talk s**t to people and share their bs political opinions. I created a new fb account, have 1 friend (my brother), i'm on 1 bike group, and use the fb classifieds.

 

[adrianp89]

I left facebook last month because of the storm of constant negativity there. It's like people log into fb to talk s**t to people and share their bs political opinions. I created a new fb account, have 1 friend (my brother), i'm on 1 bike group, and use the fb classifieds.

Not a bad idea. Me and my wife stopped using facebook over 10 years ago. Only thing I feel I miss out on are the classifieds, but OfferUp/Craigslist gets the job done.

 

[four_the_kids]

BAN THEM!
If they don't have the common courtesy to respect the investment of your boat, they probably don't have the common courtesy in respecting you (as a person).
Some people are more careless when the financial responsibility isn't theirs (they haven't bought it), compared to those who are owners, who normally have the understanding of being more courteous and helpful when being aboard one another's boat!
It's an unfortunate situation to be put in (friend or no friend), when I'm confronted with a similar situation, I don't give a f#@k who you are, I'll tell ya' so!

 

[2kwik4u]

if it is a good friend, talk to him. Otherwise, the ban hammer comes down!

Yeap.....Friends are hard to come by, and are usually respectful. If he's a good friend, have a talk, sober, away from the boat. Meet for coffee on a rainy Saturday morning or something. Intervention style. Finding the right time/place/words for these kinds of things is rough. Especially when you're asking for a change in behavior.....Good example is my best friend and his Ducati. I've got more miles on it than him at this point, however there is a VERY clear, NO BS conversation every few months about acceptable use, what I'm covering and not covering, disaster/crash response, and all the serious BS that comes with partaking in someone elses property where things could go VERY wrong VERY quickly. The conversation is very frank, and is always framed up front with a "OK, no BS here, lets talk this through, and the only acceptable answers are honest ones. Feelings and emotions are checked at the door"

In terms of the other rules @I_squared_r I think you're on point. We have some standing rules like that and I treat it as a "safety briefing" they first time the come on board, often times even before that when we're setting up the plans. You can keep it somewhat light and still get the point across. Things like "Boat leaves the dock at 9am, if you aren't on it, you're swimming to meet us" usually gets the point across without calling them out directly. I've also had some really good luck with things that are more clarifying than authoritarian......"just so we're clear, if you get drunk on the boat and you can be assured you won't be welcomed back". That just sounds nicer than "don't be a drunk jack-ass on my boat you dummy".....

Good luck dude, none of these are easy things to tell your buddies, but your time and safety is worth the PIA.

 

[Skierdad]

Tough situation, but I agree with others. You need to have that talk with your buddy. Otherwise, you and 2-4 women in the boat sounds like a win-win to me.

Quite facebook 2 years ago and have never looked back. It has become the first anti-social network. But I do miss the classifieds.

 

[HangOutdoors]

Last year I was invited to ride in a 275, the owner was laid back a bit. I took my shoes of was mindful didnt eat anything without a towel, etc etc. Helped with ropes, docking, fueling anchor, etc.

At the end back at the dock he mentioned that he wished more people were more respectful of his boat.

I guess i treat people how i want to be treated with my stuff.