I'm on my 3rd boating season and I like to go out, tie boats, drink, and eat. I'm a very responsible drinker and give myself plenty of time to sober up (I stay out 8+ hours so this is easy). Usually I invite 2-4 women on my boat and everything is cool. But i'm having problems when guys come on my boat because they drink until they're incapacitated and it is extremely annoying. Yesterday, we had a lot of boats tied and a anchor line let go, and the situation went to shit. I turned off the music and I had to start screaming at the guys to start pushing off other boats and pay attention. It was like deer in ****ing headlights, they were so drunk and incapacitated, 1 fell off the boat, and they weren't helping. Women on the boat next to us, jumped into action, and immediately started doing common sense things. Fortunately I was able to fix the situation and continue the day. But i'm getting really pissed about guys and their alcohol problems.
I'm thinking to start making rules so people have a fair warning before getting permanently banned. Here's the 3 that I thought of:
1. Show up on time.
2. Don't drink until you're incapacitated (drink responsibly)
3. Pay attention when I ask you to do something (music off = stfu and listen)
I'm really thinking of creating a plaque somewhere on the boat with these rules because this is very important. #2 and #3 is a HUGE safety issue that i'm not going to tolerate anymore. Idc how long we have been friends, I will ban them!
There's no reason to add a plaque anywhere, it'll end up pissing you off even more when someone breaks that rule. It's simple, for those who are the #2 & #3 problem guys, stop inviting them. You already know who they are, so stop making excuses for them. If you feel the need to give them one more chance, then you send them a link to this thread, tell them to read it, and if there are any issues in the future, an invite will not be extended anymore.
If you can't tell "friends" to knock it the eff off, then they're taking advantage of you, and YOU are enabling them by continuing to give them chances they have shown they don't deserve.
Showing up on time - I have this one with a BIL. I have given him "be here at this time" markers that were 2 HOURS ahead of when he needed to be there. When he figured it out, he argued with me that I was in the wrong. I pointed out that I wanted him there, but if he thought I was the problem, I would give him honest times, and I would not be there when he finally arrived, and that the more this happened, the more I would cut him out of events involving others, because he wasn't just being rude and disrespectful to me, he was doing it to others as well.
There could be an actual emergency for your buddies, but if it's a consistent thing, they're either too disorganized to be trusted for time-sensitive things, or they really don't give a shit about treating you like a doormat. If you're tired of being a doormat, then stop being a doormat. It's as simple as that. I'm willing to go out of my way for others, as it seems you are too. When that sentiment isn't returned, it's not the end of the world, it's something to simply take note of, and monitor it to see if it's a consistent habit on their part. If you want it fixed or addressed, you MUST be prepared to have it fixed or addressed in ways you don't want, but it will solve the issue.
If I EVER have to go to the trouble and expense of creating a rules list to be used or installed on my boat, then I have failed in communicating my expectations. I may as well get a plaque for my bathroom mirror that says "stop being a doormat", so I can see it every day.
I'm hoping you sort it out - I know it's easier to talk it over with us faceless friends before doing the face-to-face. I'm rooting for you.
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