Advice needed on a possible Divorce

[BigN8]

I also wanted to mention, I side with the wife when it comes to the mother in law. Just because the mother in law gave the gift of money towards the purchase of said House, it should be treated and defined as exactly that...a gift. This should not be held over the head of the kids. They should not owe anything to the mother in law for this. If that were the case then it is understandable if the wife harbored resintment towards mom in law. This begets more resintment by the son towards the wife for her feelings towards mom in law. It’s a vicious circle. I can say this, if I was forced to cohabitat with my father in law because he helped us pay for the house I would be one pissed off dude that would need alcohol to cope!!!

 

[Peelz]

I also wanted to mention, I side with the wife when it comes to the mother in law. Just because the mother in law gave the gift of money towards the purchase of said House, it should be treated and defined as exactly that...a gift. This should not be held over the head of the kids. They should not owe anything to the mother in law for this. If that were the case then it is understandable if the wife harbored resintment towards mom in law. This begets more resintment by the son towards the wife for her feelings towards mom in law. It’s a vicious circle. I can say this, if I was forced to cohabitat with my father in law because he helped us pay for the house I would be one pissed off dude that would need alcohol to cope!!!

basically what I was saying. Unless theres some sort of magical way youve set immovable boundaries, and unless youre still kids, living WITH parents, its a bad idea. Having in law move in WITH YOU. nope. never.

any SMALL differences in a marriage will be instantly amplified. hell, just going on a family cruise with the whole fam was sketchy. 7 day cruise, 6 days of bliss. 7th day...complaints, and standoffishness. lol

 

[Speedling]

@gmtech16450yz is right about the alcohol. Anyone in my whole family MIGHT get caught with a beer on pizza night at home. My great grandfather was big time alcoholic to the point that my grandfather would TYPICALLY need to look for him in the ditches between bar and home on his way home every day.
My wife started saying how we bought rum in bahamas and she was immediately shushed.
That is how powerful alcohol can be

 

[W3bexec]

Best the best thing to do is find and speak to a well qualified attorney, preferably one geared toward representing a man. An experienced divorce attorney has more than likely seen these types of situations before, can understand the nuances, and see 3-4 steps ahead with their advice. Document, document, document everything. Take notes, photos, save texts, however do not record her without her knowledge. This is where a nest or other video surveillance system (that everyone knows is there) comes in very handy.

 

[GLekter]

Bipolar disorder is very serious and should not be taken as a joke. But if she doesn't realize she has a problem, there's nothing you or anyone else can do.

 

[Canuckjetboater]

Let me start with the simple fact that my wife owns the boat and the F150, so me filing for divorce is just simply out of the question. @Bruce & @Scottintexas can testify to limited choices that I have with Nazi wife. Anyway.
So a family friend is in this pickle.

@Betik ...document, document, document. This situation will not end well. It's too far down the tracks. To avoid a he said - she said scenario in court - and it is heading to court - document, document, document. As another forum member said: Times late, times drunk, drugs used/not used, etc. etc. etc. As previously advised, get a video surveillance system - a picture is worth a thousand words. Make no mistake, the saying "hell hath no fury....." is accurate. Your friend may not think so but he is at war. While this is going-on document times and conversations with Psychiatrist and any other professionals demonstrating concern and attempts to help. File dated, verified notes with his lawyer notes of his and the childrens' concerns/fears. Get a good lawyer. In court justice and the truth die early but good lawyers win cases - get the best he can afford. Facts will count - not opinions as this plays-out.

 

[Betik]

Bipolar disorder is very serious and should not be taken as a joke. But if she doesn't realize she has a problem, there's nothing you or anyone else can do.

Thank you for the family is still holding. No significant improvement of degredation.

 

[Bruce]

I can confirm that Claire has continued to live in wedded "bliss" with @Betik despite the great stress that must bring to her life.

 

[scokill]

I just read this and always see that this person owns this person owns that when they are married. Not an attorney but have friends that have gone through divorce. In Texas it doesn't matter who bought it, whose name the loan is under when it comes to divorce and who gets what. The same is generally true of all assetts and debt/liability. Texas is a community property state, which means that most property acquired during the marriage belongs to both spouses, and the court must divide it at divorce.

 

[FSH 210 Sport]

First, been through this with more that a couple of friends over the last 30 years... this rarely ends well, but it does end.

Couldn't agree more about alcohol. It is so insidious and pervasive in our society, don't drink? WTF is wrong with you?

Drinking is choice, not a disease. Keep that in mind. In this case, drinking when it is known that there is a drug interaction problem is very bad.

There can be no rationality when one or both is irrational.. no matter the cause of the irrationality. Therefore, there can be no civility in this case.

People lie, it is dubious as to whether or not you are being told the whole truth, otherwise known as lies of omission. Tread carefully here. Ask open ended questions and circle back with other seemingly unassociated questions to determine the veracity of statements.

If she goes out on regular drunks and drives, tip off the police and let her get arrested on dui charges, excellent grounds to have the mother taken away from the kids, just remember a piece of paper is not a physical barrier.

Last thought, "anyone who would give up liberty and freedom for temporary safety deserves neither".

 

[GLekter]

Bipolar disorder is very serious and should not be taken as a joke. But if she doesn't realize she has a problem, there's nothing you or anyone else can do. The situation is indeed unique and sad. I'm sorry for the family. If things will not improve the husband must learn how to break up with her. It's not his responsibility if she doesn't want to improve. As harsh as it sounds, it's the truth. Everyone's for themselves. I'm sure the kids will be fine. They'll grow and understand the situation. Until then the wife should go to therapy and take her pills. I'm so sorry for her, poor soul she might not even realize the damage she's doing... Take care of your mental health, folks.