someone had a bad day today

[haknslash]

Replace some words and be a little creative, and you too could benefit from the craziness! But I sense some contempt... Make it more sad and less angry and i bet you get some cash!!

Yo internet fam,

My name is Kenny but people call me Captain Ron. I've always watched these videos on youtube of these sailing groups and I thought to myself, "Hey this looks like a ton of fun and I could probably make a vlog series from it and get paid while sailing the seas". I've seen Sailing SV Delos, Tua's Endless Summer, Wicked Salty and the like but none of them have a motor yacht. They all use sail boats, how boring!! So I decided the YT fam would like something new so I robbed a bank and bought a massive yacht. I mean big mofo yacht. The kind you that stops Hugh hefner in his tracks from envy, yea that kind of huge. Even Trump says my boat is YUGE! Now robbing a bank was only enough to pay for the boat. I still had to get fuel, a crew, food, drinks (lots of it), some stops in Columbia for um....powdered sugar, and a few other odds and ends so obviously I need capital for those expenses. So yup, you guess it just needed to rob some more banks. I did this for about a year ultimately "saving up" I had accumulated 1.2B in capital so I was set for my vlogging journey and to bring you guys videos on YT like you've never seen before. This all sounded like it was coming together and I was going to be able to live my dream of being a filthy rich criminal/freeloader/content creator/party4lyfer. Fast forward to last week for her initial launch and well, it didn't go as planned. The crew I hired to pilot my badass yacht apparently only had expereince driving on land. I didn't bother to ask for any paperwork of credentials as I didn't want to dip into my capital expenses to hire an agency for screening and I sure as hell wasn't going to interview these people. Long story short they didn't know how to work the throttle and drove my yacht 12 miles BACKWARDS down the ICW. They were too scared to figure out how to change the throttle plus none of them spoke a word of english so I couldn't understand them. all I know is they started bailing off the ship and I was left there all alone while this thing was driving itself backwards. Before I knew it I had run on top of some rocks! I mean, who puts rocks in the waterways anyways, how dumb??!?!! So I'm sorry to report fam, but it looks like the vlog will be put on hold indefinitely.....UNLESS I can get some help. And that's why i'm here fam. I need your help. I don't really have to time to go look for a job to pay for these expenses. I need to live the life NOW, you understand? I can't really afford to rob anymore banks either since they have my face plastered all over the place, so fam, I'm asking for help. You want this to happen and I want this to happen, so let's make this happen. Please help a brother out by sending any extra change my way. $1, $5, $500 it doesn't matter. Let's get this vlog off the ground and into the open seas!

-Captn Ron

 

[buckbuck]

@haknslash
You did not include a site for me to go to and contribute.

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

So I went out today and talked to the stranded boat people, I gave them a heads up on the news paper but who knows about how that will work out. I told them I was thinking about building a big anchor and my concerns about people running into the rope. They suggested some caution tape strung along it for visibility so maybe that would work. The weather and the water were absolutely perfect in Tampa bay today. If you click on the second picture to enlarge it and look just about dead center in the picture you can see all the way to the Skyway Bridge .

 

[Neutron]

Damn after reading that @haknslash i want to donate!!!!

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

ok so if these guys are still stuck tomorrow I have a gift for them, mega anchor LOL

 

[bronze_10]

Now u need a tug boat to get it there!

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

It will definitely be interesting that's for sure

 

[ThatJeepGuy]

Sorry, I can't see from my tablet, how many feet from the water are they? Is it ridiculous to think with an army of manpower you could dig a trench deep enough to get the boat to water at high tide?

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

on the edge just out of it but the sand bar is probably 150 feet wide before there Is any water to float a 33ft boat

 

[ThatJeepGuy]

So 3' deep, 10' wide for 150'?? Ok kinda ridiculous... lol

 

[bronze_10]

A track hoe could do it.. if u are careful not to loose it.. lol

 

[adrianp89]

So 3' deep, 10' wide for 150'?? Ok kinda ridiculous... lol

It is a VERY shallow area... you can pretty much walk from Ft. Desoto and across to two different sandbars probably 1/4 mile in distance at least.

I think we might head out that way Sunday, I will be on the look out for him.

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

It is in the worst place of all places in that area , I am planning to try to figure out a way to get this Anchor out to them on my jet ski, this should be interesting but not impossible.

 

[adrianp89]

Do you still have my number? If we go that way Sunday, I can help.

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

I think I am going to drive there and first see if they are still stuck however this is probably going to be the case if so I am going to see if they have a vehicle at fort Desoto if that is the case they can drive back to the bridge and pick up the anchor, if not I move to plan B, tow their stupid aluminum boat back and put it in there.

 

[bronze_10]

I am aware it is prob cost prohibitive but would it be possible to drive a trackhoe over the shallow area and use it to help move the boat... i know the state may have a melt down and not allow it... and it would still be a large area to dig.... if they slowly drag the boat to deeper water... dragging would prob mess up the props. And you would have to be ready to dewater the boat once it starts floating.

 

[Coheeba]

A couple of P-250 pumps in small skiffs could blow the sand beneath the boat and make a channel to deeper water. We used them to install piles for a dock and channel markers and they really blow.

 

[the MfM]

ok so if these guys are still stuck tomorrow I have a gift for them, mega anchor LOL

Thank you for going so far to help a fellow boater.

So 3' deep, 10' wide for 150'?? Ok kinda ridiculous... lol

Is it though? With enough publicity I’m sure there are plenty of people willing to help... just need a plausible plan to put them to work.

 

[swatski]

Thank you for going so far to help a fellow boater.

x2

--

 

[Cobra Jet Steering LLC]

I made it out there and believe it or not I managed to strap that anchor on the rear deck of my ski with a rubber pad under it to avoid damaging the ski> As I pulled up on the inside of the sand bar I could see one of them " they are cousins" and I waved at him to get over to me because at 65 I had no desire to carry that huge thing across the sand over to the boat.
It happened that it was the more optimistic one and he came and carried the anchor to his boat, he was very grateful, he said it looked like it would get the job done .
I also gave him a roll of bright orange tape to hang on the anchor line so people would see it and hopefully avoid it .
Their plan as I understand it is to get a pontoon boat in the shallow water with several water pumps on the front deck to wash the sand out in front of the boat.
They think the hull needs about 4 feet of water to float out. So if you are out there this weekend stop by and say hello.