Man enters a bar with a crocodile

[Geoff Cooper]

So this guy walks into a bar with a crocodile, Get that F...... crocodile out of here shouts the barman, It does tricks says the man, I don't give a F... what tricks it does says the barman get it out of here, At that the man flops his dick out and proceeds to get a piece of wood out and hit the crocodile over the head with it, Straight away the crocodile give the man a great BJ, Thats amazing says the Barman I've never seen anything like that, I told you said the man you need to calm down you will give yourself a heart attack, Would anyone else like to give it a try for $50 says the man, I will says a little old lady in the corner of the bar but don't hit me on the head as hard as you hit that crocodile.

 

[Julian]

Reminds me of the old joke:

2 young lovers are making out in the back of a car, And the guy says to the girl "Hey honey why don't you give me a blow job?"

She replies "because if I give you a blow job you'll never respect me ever again".

The couple end up getting married and this same routine plays out every year on his birthday. She always says I'm not going to give you oral sex because you won't respect me if I do.

50 years of marriage goes by, and the husband has a massive heart attack and ends up in hospital. Hes lying in the hospital bed and turns to his wife and says, "honey I'm gonna die could please at least give me a blow job before I die?"

She raises the sheets and starts to pleasure her husband and the phone rings. He picks up the phone, listens and then says "Hey cocksucker it's for you".